i wake up with this feeling in my throat,
and go to bed with it again, scratching like sandpaper,
aching for fresh air,
i try to keep myself going,
to do what is expected and necessary,
but i find myself stuck,
fingers frozen, throat closed, eyes glazed with uneasiness,
mind overstocked to the brim, closing in, people ran miles around my brain, circling a twine filled with questions that will cut circulation in my veins,
images of memories unwind, the feeling my face got when it was hard to not hold a smile, the warmth of another, the thrill of affection, the belief in one another, the vibration of words that held hope, to make hearts vulnerable and eyes light up.
the temporary people who have passed by and created reels for remembrance, each one leaving me as cold as the next.