You call it self-esteem,
But I'm out of steam
To fight this fight
That you call life.
I'm stuck in between ... unseen.
My time to shine?
I don't have time to polish,
To wade through this anguish
That binds me to my anxiety.
Instead, I hide. You are the only one
Who sees me for me;
Yet you don't know how to help me
Become the me I want to be.
Why am I so defensive,
Unable to express myself?
I'm tired ... I'm wired,
I'm all fired up ...
But before I get started,
I find myself guarded.
I weep myself to sleep -
Maybe tomorrow I'll try again.
(March 2012)