there were no warning bells
when i kissed you.
there were no flashing signs
as your hand undid the zipper.
i still don't know.

but your kisses reminded me
of kitten's tongues.
and i shuddered
as your large hands traveled
the familiar territory.

i didn't think of him.
i know i should have.

but the alcohol sang warmly in my veins.
and your teeth on my skin was heaven.
sickly sweet heaven.
we laughed like we used to laugh.
and your eyes bore into mine.
familiar taste on my tongue.

white powder swirling
in the dark of my eyelids.
i leaned into you like so many times before.
your arms, my pillars.
absorbed together.
only 15 hours spent.
but it was if nothing had changed.

i didn't think of him.
i know i should have.