Why?

why am i human so that i can have feelings?
why do i have feelings that lead to me getting hurt?
why do i always end up getting hurt?
why does my hurting turn into depression?
why is my depression such deep sorrow?
why is it sorrowful to stay alone and watch something that entertains you?
why does society feel that there's a reason to disturb a peaceful soul?
why is that soul truly peaceful?
does the soul have what it wants?
does the soul have what its needs?
does the soul lack?
why does lacking leave such a gap in our our?
why is it so hard to find something to bridge the gap and fill the void?
what if i never find the key that fits the lock?
what if i die depressed?
what if i stay locked away in my house confined by bitter happiness?
what if i never found peacefulness?
what if i never got hurt?
what if i never dug a hole into depression?
what if i never felt for someone?

then i've never loved,
i've never loved you, never loved her, never loved it, never loved what i did or the way i did things.