I can't help but notice I've all but tricked myself.
Letting the little things pass by and almost missing them.
I almost had myself fooled.
I'm not happy, and I can never be happy.
I'm a failure. I set my goals and a couldn't meet them.
I'm not man enough.
**** everything, maybe this is the only option.
Maybe there's only one way out.
I can't seem to bring myself to care when I have to think about someone else.
All my interactions are fake.
I'm a **** online but that's the real me.
Hiding behind my computer.
Am I afraid? No, that can't be it.
That's too simple of a solution.
I'm just nothing. I've gave it all I had and it wasn't enough.
I'm a shell of who I once was. I used to look at people like me with disgust.
Now I look at who I was with envy.
Ignorance is bliss, and I was the dumbest of all for thinking I was smart then.
Even if he knew, it wouldn't have changed anything.
**** me.
I could be dead right now. That's the life, I bet.
I could be living on the street with no worries except my basic needs.
Would be simpler.
I could be graduating college right now on the Dean's list, and getting a well paying job, getting financial security, providing for my family.
I killed that dream a long time ago.
The real world *****.
I truly want no part in it.
I don't understand how people do it.
These cookie cutter lives.
I can't bring myself to. And believe me I'm trying.
I know I'm not the only one. I've met someone else like me.
Why isn't this thing more well known.
Why does everyone pretend everything's okay all the time?
I went to church last week.
I wouldn't answer if they asked how I was. They'd say good, or something along those lines.
Every one of them.
They don't care about you. I don't care about them. Can we just be honest about it?