I could never tell you.

I’ll look at you

and wonder

and think

and dive so far

into the brown of your eyes

a surface no longer exists -

but I’ll stay quiet.

I can’t let you see.

We’re all

far too damaged

to let each other see.

I keep clasping

your hand

like I’m not afraid.

Intertwining my fingers

around you

even though

fear of ripped out pieces

staggers

my breath.

I curl to the irony

of never feeling

so safe

and so endangered

at once,

and all I want is

courage to say…

to say…