Is love so elusive as to never be found i wonder why its so do others flee from me repulsed by my presence or does distain for others reside deep inside and erode those unfortunates the few that I touch until they can no longer hold on and their grasp is dissolved and I'm here alone again what inside me causes this how can I change it I feel so isolated as to be driven insane like a prisoner in solitary confinement scribbling on black walls for years spent suffering silently waiting for reprieve free me from this *******, Lord Only God can save me from a life of anguish amidst nothing but the sound of my own breath how i long to know, Lord why you gave this life to me and how i can serve you and return it with interest pain is a familiar friend and sorrow is often my company how i desire joy to come to me and remain forever more but joy will not embrace me it will only visit briefly and reject my pleas to stay as if I have somehow injured it and finally given it an excuse to leave me to my tears