Morning dew peeking through my window

Fighting to shatter my darkness within.

I turn over fighting my demons poking at my soul.


Shouting to me that I won’t last long.

Last couple of days, felt like a nightmare without escape.

Not even my shadow wants to appear from the hell I’m living in.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror echoes my pain, so I avoid my own eye contact, to avoid my pain.


How can you live a life so pure, so true; to have it ripped right underneath you? Evil, betrayal, deceit, hate, ****, die!

Words, feelings, qualities all trying to consume my identity.


How could this happen to me?

As if I could be exempt from suffering.

I forgot suffering, I forgot to expect it, I forgot it exist.

But now its existence wars within me to destroy me.

I don’t want to fight.

Let me give in.

Let me surrender to the truth darkness reveals, to a falsehood the light covered.

All trust – obliterated into a million pieces floating in the air of black and grey.

What will heal me now?

Yet still, I must rise from this ugly place.

The ground is cold and hard to rest on.

The food lacks and taste of bitterness and hate.

There is no sun, only a paralyzed eclipse.

I scream “No more”!

I have to leave this place.

Nothing makes sense.

I fight to remember my reflection without pain.

I must.

There has to be some beauty left in me.


Rise!


I must rise!


I will rise!


I am rising slowly.