Beauty.
Noun.
A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.
I am not beautiful by definition.
My body and mind have been too far deformed by the hands of others as if I am a blob of Play-Doh for other people to play with.
My body covered in scars and broken bones healed incorrectly, limbs gnarled , jutting out through my skin.
My mind too pessimistic to see the beauty of life.
The darkness creeping into my mind, taking shapes of crippling depression and anxiety.
I am ugly.
But the first day I ever saw her I knew she was the complete opposite.
Every hair on her head was perfect.
Her skin perfectly smooth and vibrant.
Her eyes full of life glowing from underneath a beautiful set of eyelashes.
Her smile giving off such radiant light that I stand blinded by her brilliance.
She was gorgeous, absolutely stunning in every way.
The definition of the word “beauty” was her.
I never came to realize that she never felt beautiful.
Never realized that behind the illustrious presence that exuded from her, she too, felt like a blob of Play-Doh.
Never realized that at home she was a punching bag for her parents both physically and verbally.
Never realized that she on a regular basis was called fat and ugly by members of her family.
Never realized she was called stupid by her father, never earning his respect and approval.
She was a 4.0 student.
She worked so hard to please her parents.
Please her friends.
Please her classmates.
She was called selfish to the point that she feels bad to do anything for herself, the pain is too much.
She has been broken, over and over again.
But through all of her problems she still gets up and smiles at the world.
She still makes whoever she talks to feel like the most important person in the room.
She still finds the positive in any situation no matter how devastating the tragedy.
She still makes you feel special.


My dearest love,
Words cannot describe how much you have done for me.
Your optimism has shined such a bright light in my world of black so I can see.
And all I see is you.
I never realized what it meant to be committed to someone but being with you is all the commitment I will ever need.
I want to grow together to be what everyone wishes they were.
You are a gem.
As you take ahold of my heart I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make you happy.
I will be there in your times of need when you feel alone.
I will protect you from harm and hold you up when you feel you cannot stand.
I will always have the door open to hold you when you feel pained.
You have made me feel beautiful.
You have opened my eyes to allow me to see what good is inside me.
I will never let you go as long as you let me.
As we go on in life I want you to know you are everything to me.
I love you with everything I have and will continue to do so.
But with all of this I want you to know,
With everything you have ever given me,
With your loving kindness and your care,
With your gorgeous looks and your charming charisma,
With your genuine happiness and the pureness of your soul,
You are beautiful.

Jesus Johnson