Its Christmas day today.
I feel so thankful and happy that today was the day my savior came into the world.
He is the only thing that I need and tends to keep me sane.
I also hate this time of year though.
When it becomes so painfully obvious just how alone you actually are and that you are no where closer to having a family of your own.
He's leaving and going into the navy.
My love.
The one who I thought would never leave me, inevitably is just like all the others.
They all leave, but maybe they aren't leaving maybe someone is taking them away to make room for my actual destiny.
I struggle so much to even want that real love in the end.
Nothing is forever, so why subject myself to that kind of possible future misery.
My parents barely make it and all they've done is make it a mission to see who can hurt the other more until they actually fall in love again.
I want real, honest, true, gracious, patient, passionate, silly, childish, love. The love that will last forever, the love that only God can bring or make possible.
He must love God more than he could ever love me, because then he will filter Gods love into me.
He will be there whenever I need him, just a phone call away and at my side as a real partner.
We will have the love of a new generation, where it is real, so true, and so pleasing to God and the both of us.
I long for that day and I am willing to wait as long as possible for that dream.
The dream of being with someone worthy of my love, affection, honesty, mind, body, and soul.
It is times like these when I know the only way this can happen is if I get myself in check.
If I take the time to better myself and become the person I need to be.
Travel a lot, smile a lot laugh a lot, cry a lot, create a lot, befriend a lot, and never stop driving.
Never ever stop driving what carries me so far to the destination I will reach in the end.
The drive that makes me feel so passionate about what I do.
About my art and my creations.
I believe that God will give me a brilliant idea one day.
He will fill my mind with his purpose of for my life.
I am so excited to see what is about to happen as I document it here.
I can always feel when God is about to do big things in me and my life.
Things get quiet, they get difficult, they get serious, and most of all they get hopeful.