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Vanessa
Poems
Dec 2016
Where He Is Now: Notes On A Dead Friend
“Well the panic attacks that I have keep happening more often, so I went to a doctor. She thinks
I have severe anxiety / depression. All I want to do is see the guy that I’m talking to but he is
always busy. All I do is think about him. I’m Pathetic. I want to go to bed and never get up.”
“I literally just don’t care about anything anymore.”
“I’ve spent almost the whole day in bed”
“I didn’t even do it for myself”
“Laying in bed and dying”
“Sorry I was asleep”
“I don’t have the energy for life.”
“I’ve been trying to get up for two hours.”
“Every time I try my mind is like what’s the point”
“I feel so ****** I’m literally laying here trying to make the suicidal thoughts stop”
“No it’s because she doesn’t get what I’m going through and thinks it’s about her”
“I’m thinking about calling my mother…….thats how bad I feel lol”
“And queue my downward spiral”
“It still hurts”
“Everyone is afraid of me”
“**** me”
“I’ve slept all day”
“Having a panic attack in class”
“I’ve been suicidal all day”
“I will be worse if I don’t have him”
“I can’t get past him until I have someone else”
“I am looking for someone else, but people are afraid of me”
“I want to die”
“No u don’t”
“Ohhhhh but I do”
“He is probably living life not even thinking about me”
“Everyone is getting cancer and dying”
“Let’s just end it now before there is more pain”
“I’m anxious”
“Where are you”
“I’m dying”
“Vanessa”
“I’m dying”
Written by
Vanessa
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