I awoke that morning, down on my luck in an endless game of gratitude, thanking one misery from releasing me from another.On a sofa where my knees suffered, my arm ached, but at least I had shelter and the possibility of survival if laughed at every joke and made out we were a team and I wasn't just using my weird face or conversation to keep my host entertained.

It wasn't a date, I was reaching and crawling out of that environment and hoping for a real person to talk to, a conversation maybe someone who could see me outside of who I appeared to be.

I underestimated the experience, I had never  in my whole life been hit to the point I could buckle or fall to my knees. I saw her.

She had a car which meant she had power, and control over distance sounds silly now but then she seemed like a goddess. She appeared from it like a oiled gear angular but straight up, she had black hair (I was always a sucker for black hair) but she did something no one had done before she made me feel like I had been hit by a bullet. I automatically became nervous. I thought I could be charming, apparently this helpful tool disappears when you see someone you instantly fall in love with.