Don't worry about me
Sure, giving myself a hard time is my norm
Discontent and stressful psychology are a second skin
But I am receiving my rewards for this growing human all the time

I bathe in the social, and I hope I'm successful in my effort to connect with who I can
But it's more selfish than that, I guess people just make me smile
More than just the presentation of self, and the silly little things that tick away in them
People are stories that have been grown through DNA strains of identity, and through the circumstances the universe has webbed out around them
So getting to know them and trying to add something to their lives if I can, it's a little bit too fun to pass up

But I often distance myself from the moving matter, microscopic flows and cycles
And the individuality infused eyes that are you and me and them
Sometimes to write, but mostly just to feel good about myself
Introversion is an aspect of me that has it's value, and I feel like I can see that for what it is
It has been a curse in the past, and sometimes holds me back
But it's where what I make comes from
Weird little patterns on paper, maybe three songs from the piano by ear
And the validating obsession that is the literary form

What I believe comes from it too, this strange openness with endlessness
The attempt to make tangible the inconceivable depths of everything
Somehow the philosophy of self improvement ties into it
With a dream of humanity united to colonise the universe
Advancing ourselves to levels unrecognisable to our reality now
And maybe, if it even can be done
Breaking open that intangible enclosure that the universe is to us
And finding answers for ourselves to those questions that some of us are arrogant enough to claim they know the truth of
God, gods, or something less tangible, less in our image, and more like the universe, without need for recognition or influence
And that other question, are we a symptom of a system of electrical signals in our skulls
Or are we both body and the ethereal ghost that despite defying reason, becomes something we yearn for connection to
The souls feel right, but the universe doesn't care how you feel, it just is
Whatever the truth, if we want answers, we will have to earn them through greatness

...there I go, diving again
Soaked in the flow of analysis
This is, at least in part what's going on under the hood
You probably will have trouble understanding me
But please, you don't need to worry