Sometimes I wonder if I can do anything right
Is it me
Was a born in a way that enables me to do nothing right
Or is it you
Mom

Will there ever be a day I can please you?
To see a smile spread across your face once again
Like wildfire across a dry forest
As you say
Good job. I'm so proud of you.

Will that day ever come
Or am I stuck here
Left on my own to try to find a way
On how to make you turn your head and look at me
In a way that doesn't involve anger

I've tried so many ways to get your attention
Bad and good
To get you to stay
Studying hard
Getting honor roll
Running away
Hurting myself
Throwing tantrums
Trying to end my own life

But every other night
You'd go out with your friends
And leave me alone
Alone with my thoughts
Making me ask myself why I'm not good enough

Why can't you just stay
Why do you choose a drink over your own child?
And why do you act like I'm the failure
When you're the one
Who keeps letting me down

I want you to stay
I want you to love me
But you choose
*****
And that's fine

But in twenty years from now
When you're lying alone in an empty bed
Within a empty house
With no one to call

I want you to ask yourself if it was worth it
If I was worth that couple of beers
Or a few shots
Or that well made margarita

Because I won't be
I'll be starting a new life
Without you
With a loving spouse
And your beautiful grandchildren
That you'll never see

I love you mom
But I'm much happier
Without you