Why am I so worthless?
Why do I feel like I just don’t belong?
Like I’m sinning by existing?
That I’m nothing but a bothersome burden?
Everything I do provokes yelling.
Everything I say provokes reprimand.
Wherever I go is evil.
And whoever I am needs to be “fixed”.
All my choices are marked “crazy”
And my parents whisper behind my back.
I let them think I can’t hear them
But I hear every word and feel every sting.
Do I give a **** I act like I don’t
And shoot down those who think I do.
But I do care. I care a lot.
I’m just so soft that I must attack to live.
I feel as if I don’t know anything but pain
And I’ll never be able to accept anything else.
I certainly have difficulty receiving love.
One loves me, and I feel rotten for having trouble loving her.
Why is this so hard?
I’m supposed to be the selfless one,
The one to take all their strife, so they can live.
But the side-effect is that I die.
Even then, I can’t do my duty
Because of “equal exchange”.
Giving my life helps no one
Because it isn’t worth enough to give.
But then again, I’m condemned even now
By myself, for just voicing my complaints.
Because that’s all they are. Whines.
I mean, there are starving kids in China, afterall.