drifting through the air
waiting
waiting
waiting
for the ground to burst up and hit me
like the punch of relief and happiness
but it never comes
the winds of distrust
continue to reside
and never let go of me
like a mother clinging to her child
in a big hug
let me go
i long for happieness
the thing that finds almost everyone but me
the tears fall like the leaves
waiting
waiting
waiting
to hit the ground
where there is a utopia of happieness
without sorrow
pain
lies
and distrust
where not even your dearest family can trust you
and toilets seem rather welcoming
can't it just be over
can't it all just stop
can't everything just be

perfect?
or am i cursed to a life of despair
where i am not loved
and no one forgives me for the mistakes that i have made?
do the dear love me?
does anyone?

so many unanswered questions

waiting
waiting
waiting
for the answers to come
no answers are coming anytime soon

these are the times i hate being a teenager
and wish i could be five
when the world was perfect
and my mommy loved me