you're alone
surrounded in a room full of people
you take up smoking to try and make friends
the cameras are always watching
the doctors are always writing
your family prays for you to get better
you've lost ten pounds in six days

and soon, the doctor comes in
he says your insurance won't pay for any more days
so you're better now
life is better now
and you believe him
you believe he's telling you the truth
because you want to

your mom came and picked you up
with the most beautiful smile you'd ever seen
but there was worry in that smile
you got home, went to your bedroom, shut the door
caught a passing glimpse of yourself in the mirror
you stopped and thought
maybe i can finally get it right this time

you slept on it
every night for the past few months
you write poems to pass the time
of lost loves and subtle dreams
not where you are
but where you want to be
and you talk to a god you don't even believe in
hoping that's enough