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A Reflection on my High School Years

Furrowing deep with claws blood-stained,

into dirt, a heap of heavy ashes,

too depressed to flow with the wind,

or dance with breezes sprung from heels clicking past,

I sink.

 

These ashes reside

from my burnt body.

Wrinkled edges, dim, clotted blood,

a heart suffocated by the flame

of victimization.

 

Take a scalpel to my remains,

mutilate my body, my Self, all that remains,

stitch on male genitalia,

or chop my hair off,

none can remain, none can remain.

Gorge out my fat, reveal

gaping white bones;

none can remain.

 

An emergency room

(a yew)

A home with quiet time at 2:00

(an ever-green)

A place with after-meal support

(a willow)

A pile of *****

(a palm)

A fresh crimson cut

(a pine)

 

 

I met you.

(before it was too late)

 

 

You ****** me into the arms of a God

And you placed a Bible underneath my bare feet.

I stumbled and cut my heel on its edges

and watched the blood seep into the welcome mat.

 

When you first gently unlaced my blouse

flashes, images, screeching memories flew back in

shattering porcelain glass.

But a look in your eyes

soothed the tempest

and I drifted along with your rhythmic tides.

 

I once said I wanted to be a tree.

(Nothing more than still wood.)

I once felt like a million dollars wasted.

Swallowing the moon and the stars so bright.

 

Now I say

overlooking shy tulips, so young, so young,

Humanity is a house abandoned

and in you and Him have I found

the warmth that tiptoes across my chest,

like the pit of a peach radiating sweet, sweet nectar.

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Written by
kelly-lloyd
American
Published
Mar 11, 2012
Lines·Words
50·271
Notes

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