tearing up
the roots that once held me
stuck to the surface
of the earth

is easier at night
when no one can see

spread-eagled on cold hallways.
wandering the house,
almost tripping on the stairs
before realizing

i was bleeding from the fingernails
i pried at for too long

when feelings and thoughts become one
and tell me I'm wrong
again
and again
I want to believe
against obsession
that I didn’t this time
and I won’t the next.

i keep searching the skies for
my rocket ship
take me to the quiet space
where I can remember how
small I want to be


when feelings and thoughts become one
and tell me I'm wrong
again
and again
I want to believe
against obsession
that I didn’t this time
and I won’t the next.