Sit down my friends, come hear this true story It's interesting, but it's also gory
One fine day in eighteen seventy-four Alferd Packer, who just loved to explore With five friends, he began a three-month tour 'Cross the Rockies, but don't ask me what for
Six men walked for seventy-five miles But the voyage just was not all smiles For you see, when the group finally came back Five of the men the party now did lack
At the end of those cold seventy-five Alferd Packer alone finished alive When asked why, he didn't know what to say His memory seemed to change day to day
But at last he settled on one version Of what happened on that long excursion The police decided this one was true And it's this one that I'll now tell to you
One hiker, it seemed, whose name had been Bell Just went insane, but why no one could tell Packer claimed that Bell had killed all the rest Of the hikers, and that packer was next
So ole Packer, he said, "I tried my best To stop him; but I fought back with such zest Shannon Bell died, but it's just common sense When I say, I killed him in self-defense"
Then Alferd, he was left with five dead men What could he do? It was getting cold then So Alferd, to warm up that freezing hell Took the body and he devoured Bell
For dessert he then ate his other four Dead companions; but hey — what are friends for? When finished, he caused a sensation By arriving at the tour's destination
When Alferd had ended his gruesome tale The local cops threw him quickly in jail Where he served over seventeen long years But if his fate fills your eyes now with tears
I'll reveal here, he was released alive Died a free man, the age of sixty-five