Caught in this self destructive spiral

I know the decisions I'm making
Are the wrong ones
But that doesn't change them…
Hell,
Maybe that's why I made them.

My life is just one big **** up
I might as well
Follow the theme.

Or maybe it's some perverse
Desire
To unravel my life
To give myself a reason
To feel the way I do

I drink until I don't remember myself
I smoke until all the pain
Goes up in smoke
I slice open my skin
Open up my soul
And slip out

And while I've slipped out
Of this prison of flesh
Might as well let someone else slip in

Worry about the consequences later

Right now I just don't want to feel

So **** me
Get me drunk
Get me high
Pretend you don't see
Blood dripping

I'll pretend with you

One day
Maybe we can pretend me
Out of existence…

Until then

I'll stay
Caught in this self destructive spiral…