I Closed The Door

I have to admit the space is nice,
Not having to talk about my life
Or look people in the eye when  
I need to cry
I just want to be  myself without  
Someone telling how I should be,
I feel too naked around a big crowd
Why everyone looks down on me
Because I want let them live out  
My dreams
I just want to hide behind  
Run with the wind were every one
Stop looking at all the scars and
Pains that they all given to me
I want to run free from all of this mess
I've made a nice big bed to lie in like
My mother always said
Though of emptiness and lost dreams
Came from family  
Honestly I want to make them all live
Me a lone and let me live my own life  
And let them live theirs
I don't want to speak to you don't be  
So confused you know what you all do
Is lie give so much shame and blame  
Of the mess you all made ,
Then you come home and try to still  
At my soul another time with your nasty lies
You made in the night
There’s nothing to say
So get away I will no longer let you shame  
My name and give me all your blames  
I want to live my own life so give it back
When it was once too hard for me to say No  
I when to say yes for all my dreams to come true
Without you living my life for me  
Move on and set me free
It’s too easy to fall back in the trap they all set out  
For me to fall in , back into old way  
Who are you to tell me what to do
I am the one that made you look good
Move on I'm already out the door
I have to remind myself all the reasons  
For letting go and moving on I
In my weaker moments I cry out to my God
I keep knocking on his door
I can’t keep myself  ''LOOKING'' back  of
All the pain everyone I trusted given me
Looking back, hoping to find something good
I may had left behind all I found was hopeless
Emptiness and so much pain
Dying out in the cold rain
I'm still holding on to me and my own name  
I don’t know why everyone had done this  
To me but no more the door is closed behind me
I set my life on happiness .

Poetic Lilly Judy Emery (c)