Why I am like this? The taddest stiver from what I deem aptest is excavated. My skin is pock marked and discolored like a poorly laundered sheet. When I run my fingers across my flesh ridden vessel my fingers read the incrusted imperfection. Divot: you were never worthy Scar: who could ever find you appealing? Blemish: your existence is repugnant I ravenously pick at my skin, hoping I'll find some scintillating suit of beauty lying just beneath my robe of acquiescent reality. Tear: I fear intimacy because I let my imperfections blind me. Heart: palpitating panic, I've grown accustom to the small nibbling self loathing. I harrow my skin not only as a result of my OCD, but as a way to keep me corralled from all the potential I'm afraid to see. I feel much more safe sundered away from all the beautiful things I once aspired to be. Scarring, discoloration, dead skin. I don't have to fret rejection when I've already denied myself the right to be accepted.