I envy them
Because I’m on the outside
I look in at them
Happy and united
I eat alone
For the most part
I looked for safety
To leave that place
It wasn’t a choice
Now I’m alone
Looking in at them
I miss belonging
Being part of a family
I never get invited
To Christmas or Thanksgiving
Or any gatherings
I miss it
I see them happy
They never call or even text me
I tried for years
No one would reply me
Then one day I stopped
Choosing my sanity
It wasn’t my fault
To be bullied
Or the way they struck me
I've come a long way
The feeling in my chest has left
I use to squeeze it
To make the feeling disappear
But I stand alone
Much better than I did 3 years ago
I can smile and feel more whole
Time slowly heals
The scars slowly go