What I Hide Within
When I am tiered with no words
I find my mind going back to once
Where I was sad and lonely a place
I dreaded to ever see again
Having nobody to comfort me in my sad
state of mind I wore a mask that always smiled
To hide my feelings behind a lie
I was cut so deep my pain was all over the place
I almost could hide it no longer
Before long I had many friends telling me you
Don't need a man like that so hateful and curl
With my mask on I was one of them
deep inside I was dying
crying for this pain to end
I still felt empty cold with no love to hold
I was missing a part of me of long ago
Nobody could hear my cries
at night I was good at hiding
what it was I was feeling at the time
I designed my mask to hide
the lies of the world I'm doing
fine with a drink in my hand
and a dance on the way
With ever guy I meet
with a smile on my face
Nobody could see the pain
I was feeling deep within me
For I designed my mask to be
laughing and having the
Time of my life Oh how I lied
Behind all the smiles were the tears
of my pains missing you
And behind all the comfort
were the fears of my loneliness
All the blues of coldness
I hold in my soul a love I couldn't
let go why he was out having a life
Everything you think you see
about me is all a lie
Day by day night by night
I hold you in my heart why you
been cutting me apart
I was slowly dying
with every word you had very told
I couldn't go on much longer
There was something missing
So I started reaching for the drink
that everyone had told me
that would **** all things
But look at me now
I'm still searching for where love was good
the thing that'll stop my crying stop my pains
For someone who'll erase my fears
For the person who'll wipe my tears
I had to look at myself and see
the real me that was dying within  myself
With that drink in my hand
I looked in the mirror
that is when I started crying out
so loud it was like thunder
hitting the grown
The rain kept coming down
the drink I put down  
With time I found myself
  loving what I see
all my pains I was holding deep within
is no longer cutting at me
I smile and it isn't fake
I choose to let it all go
and to start loving me .

Poetic Lilly Judy Emery (c)