i'm not sure which is worse:
feeling alone or feeling lonely.
or not knowing the difference between the two
when i have been both.

people don't notice me.
and i think it may just be because i
live in a different world.
maybe because i live inside my head.
which may just be my biggest mistake,
it is a living hell
inside of this place.
and i am constantly hearing knocks
and the sounds of people telling me
to move on.
how you don't need me.
how i am not a first choice.
how i am invisible.

and i am.

but i have moved on from that.
now the question is if anyone new
will notice me.
and we can agree you do not need anyone to
complete you.
but let's be honest:
it's a lot easier to let your tears out when
someone is there to let you pour them
into their ocean.

who knew if you listened hard enough
your loneliness would become so loud
too loud
you wouldn't be able to unhear it.

and i use the music to
drown out the sound.
but when i stop listening
i notice i've been keeping it in the whole time.

and now i know what's worst of all.

being so alone
being so lonely
that you no longer recognize your own voice
because many times it's done its
evil manipulation
of
turning you against yourself.
and you have become
your own worst enemy.

and no sounds of war
could compare to those
that go on in my head.