I have to keep my mind occupied,

I have to keep running from the thoughts
That attempt to drown me out when I am alone
And the rain pelts on my apartment window and
I feel like I am the droplets falling from the sky,
I am the clouds that are graying and
I am the thunder that emanates from above
And I am sometimes the lightning that strikes out
And hits the unsuspecting and -----

When it rains I feel normal…

And when it rains I feel like I am understood by something,

Understood by nature at its finest,
Nature with its self-destructive tendencies
Always lashing out at itself and damaging ---

I’m not alone because I’m surrounded
By the droplets who share my name and
The puddles that form underneath my feet
While I stand in the center of my living room
Watching the light from outside of my windows
Get darker until nothing can be seen

And the fragments of my mind and the
Fragments of my thoughts get sounded out
By the bellowing winds striking my apartment walls
And crashing inside of my eyes and ----

*It’s deafening but I have never felt more alive