I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about two things
One was lust and one was living
Both contained thoughts of you
But when I realized again it was all in my head
Then my thoughts again became of dying
I want it painful
I want to enjoy it
I want to feel something worse than what I've felt
The constant rejection of everyone I've ever loved
Has pushed me to the brinks
Its why I gave in to the devil I think
If I'm not good enough for anyone
If I'm not even close to something you would want
Then why am I even trying because all I want is the love I give out
If I'm meant to be alone I gotta know
If I'm meant for no one I won't mind
I'm not sure my place in the world but I hope to always be by someone's side
If not I gotta figure it out soon
Start a new spiritual journey
To the depths of my soul's existence
Figure out where I'm called and what I'm supposed to do
Will it even really matter?
Will I be able to make a change?
I must stop the Devil's work against us
Add some love to the world before I hit the grave
I hope it's not all for nothing
And I hope I find my mate