I can't do what you ask.
I love you,
But I can't.
You need distance,
To heal all that is broken.
I can't talk, let you know what I think,
How I feel.
I can't be in your head.
I can't worry and wait.
I wish I could.
I'm so sorry I  can't.
I told you it was easy to never be happy.
I can't miss what I don't know.
But I was wrong.
I can search for that happiness.
I know it exists.
I can survive on that.
I can live again.
I can make it there.
I'm numb.
I'm ashamed.
But I can't survive until I **** the hole.
Don't be angry.
Don't think you failed.
I'm not going back to pills and *****.
Just two days.
So I can breathe again.
I'm sorry I failed you in the end.
I wish so much I could.
To be near you.
A blessing and a curse.
But I can't.
I love you.
So please don't be disappointed in me.
Understand that I'm incapable of distant but friends.
It is a war every moment to talk, to explain.
I read patterns of people based on conversation.
I see risk with every word.
So I can't.
I love you.
Two days and I can survive.
But I'll live again.
I'll get ahold of you then.
Numb.
Clean break.
I'll make it.