I Found Me IN DARK PLACES

I cried last night why you was on the phone
I cried this morning when I had let you go
this night you I cried out of my mind
I wrapped myself in misery
sat alone in the dark
Holding the other part of my heart
of the unknown  
Feeling my despair and loneliness
I know this was for the best you just don't know this yet  
Take note of this I don't want to be in love yet
I don't want a marriage
yet that will be so much regrets for me  
You must know never to put your heart on hold
move on please and let me go  
today I have not been acting my usual self
my heart is finely free
that is what my heart needs  
the universe is vast in love
I am in the void of loneliness
I do set and look at the stars
thinking about were you are
Paris is were my heart wanted to be  
given my all to just one it set my heart on run  
I am still young not read for that yet
I can handle love to a degree  
my heart needs to love freely
I am used to being a lone with
a big world around me I cold home
I 'm just starting to find me
I know I am in my forties
soon to be fifty  
my heart is still young  
it wants to move on
I gave my all to others very young in life
I learned how to let others walk all over me
let them live out my dreams
not this time I started learning how to love me
live out my own life learning to find me
setting out my own dreams
then when my heart is ready for love it will be on easy    
I don't want to be alone tonight but this is life
I had made loneliness my best friend  
I realized that I am were
I need to be and that is free
I would call to Paris but I know not
The key to a semi-happy life
is simply not for me
I need sufficient distraction of true happiness
that's when I found me
Balance of passion, love ,and energy
I already had it
I distracted myself
shook off all my pains
that others gave  
I just walked away
  my world for me to being
my gravity pulling sadness to happiness
I learn to love me
live my own life and set my heart free .

Poetic Lilly Judy Emery (C)