Everything I wanted and more,
the more is the heartache.
She plays me like a fiddle,
pulling screeching notes out of the chords in my throat.
A cacophony of sounds rising from my soul.
Pulling me this way and that.
Yes,
no,
maybe.
Please, make a decision,
I'm incapable of making one myself.
She is my poison,
she is my ruin.
If it starts with pain then it cannot end well,
but I just grit my teeth and carry on.
I have learnt that I can be desired,
I have sought out reinforcement,
they show me it's not just her.
But for me it can only really be her.