on any given night i am the forgotten daughter i sit at the dinner table, where the food has been pushed away from me conversations starting and stopping in between food being shoveled in please pass the vegetables, answered with a loud sarcastic response i have become unwelcome in my home, i can feel the hatred shoving me to the door
i wonder if i was ever welcome here, if this was ever my home everything that resembles me has dwindled away, never to be seen again if there was another place for me to dwell, i'd be there instead i sit alone in this cold room, listening to the clatter, the slams, and the yells.
when i bring someone into this house they always feel only half welcomed they briefly feel the pain of my everyday life as time has passed i have realized i have no rights in this place i occupy i have trouble even calling it home anymore there is no other place for me to turn to no safe haven where i will be warm and fed the only release i have is sitting inside my car
people see it as strange, the girl that sits in parking lots reading the girl that doesn't want to go home i have long lived through inquires about my location asking what parking lot i am in today strange that all my belongs are inside this room that isn't mine yet i only feel at home inside my car
i returned today, to dinner made and a table set my mother set a place for me which she hasn't done in a long time i helped her with dinner as soon as my shoes were off we sat at the table, my father, mother and i there were no words spoken to me aside from one brief remark about the mashed potatoes my father, he sat reaching over my plate to grab whatever was in front of me there is no communication between us the tension is thick, this angry man can't even look his daughter in the eye when words finally hit the still air, i thought briefly, the three of us would converse. maybe a question about my day, maybe a remark about the letter from a college instead, the words that spilled from my fathers mouth were only about male family members, thousands of miles away.
i am the forgotten daughter and i'm sitting right next to you
i have overstayed my welcome, and that's clear to me now