are they really poems or is this just my diary? idk, idc
i'm upset and i'm crying right now, and i'm mad that i'm upset and crying.
i don't put a whole lot of effort into poetry but i feel like if i did i would end up censoring myself.
i used to censor myself a lot online because i fed off of the mystery. i liked it when people would ask me if i was still alive or okay. i liked being cryptic because it made me feel like i knew more than everybody else.
i put up walls and didn't let anybody in. i hate myself and i hated myself back then.
i want to paint but i'm getting a headache from staring at this screen in the dark. the lights were making my room too hot.
tomorrow i am going to eat sushi with my family and pretend everything is fine. on friday i am getting a haircut. in the meantime i have a lot of stuff to do. over the weekend i have to work. i have to find time to do everything i want to do. i never have any time and life is so stressful. i want to throw up. i feel overheated.
i want my boyfriend to stop being cryptic and quiet and passive aggressive. i hate that ****. i'm not cut out for marriage if this is the way it's gonna be.