You dig too deep when there is no need to, depleting
My resources, ignoring (perhaps unaware of) what is in front of
You, why don’t you want to see!
I was hopeful, even in mild anguish,
But I do not want to be another, who does this,
But you scare(d) me. Real bad
Nerves, after so many hesitations from aggravation
Like an animal distrusting, will run.
Do I taunt her? Only to hide promises.
Do I not have what I offer? Why must words seal.
Mistakes often made, I hope I made one than.
The Agreement is not fulfilled.
Yet…
When you are in the room, you are the only
Person, always the only one –always so singular.
You are like a force of nature
The essence of vitality, too extravagant for
Time, you belong in another among Greek goddesses
And a higher world of Spirit
Maybe morals too, but I do not know
Whether they exist, or are only ideals.
You are an ideal woman, you are Ideal.
Does this drive me from you?
That I, rebel of convention, dejected of state
And you enforce, unknowingly, what I resist.
To conquer, yes, it would be wrong. To conquer you,
Would be to fall in two, a trap I hastily avoid.
I do not speak of love, but assumptions
So hindering to our development—so…
Stagnant, repugnant and UGH, that feeling.
I am independence’s lover
And through love of you, I fear
I channel: you must be independent
Even of me, totally.
Fie! Am I too await this conclusion of all that I...?
Hark! Think not of that future, potential unknowable
Time. I cannot grip it, nor make it mine
And this I must think of you too,
Fearful that I am too comforted by abandonment
And commitment renders me impotent
And so the struggles last, and love waits unresolved.
Too hasty at best, and too stupid in truth,
Love unlearns to re-teach old lessons