Back and forth my mind races
Cannot decide when it's time for me
For my time to rise
Like the phoenix amongst the ashes of failure
I await the green light to shine for me
I always set myself up for misadventure
My stubbornness will be my downfall

I know which path to follow
But, I fear for my first steps
Set too much in my ways
I hold myself back
Saving myself from uncertainty

Expecting the worst
Hanging in doubt
Amateur, ******
Suffering by myself and myself alone

Waiting for the perfect moment
Waiting for the perfect answer
Fleeing from the scene of life
Seeking absolution

Even if my wishes came true
It may end in disaster
Even if my desires were met
It'll hollow me out further more

And still...nothing's different

Cody Shull, 2016