Alone........


In a room full of people
what is wrong with me?
it is as if I can see
past the outter things in life
and look too closely to the inside
and see things I shouldn't see.....lonliness.


uncovering more than maybe I should,
But I see it....
feel it..
as it surrounds me.


the smiles....


are they real?
do they come from an honest sense of happiness?
or is it just something that they have learned to do? God, I just don't understand it.
am I the only one
who ever felt this before?


the wallpaper even makes me sad...


like flowers frozen in time,
stuck to a wall
meaningless..
vacant...
and so lonely.



how can I feel this sad?


no one seems to notice,
I can feel it's frosty fingers
around my heart
and I am powerless
to it's sorrowful presence.


a clock....


ticking loudly in the corner...
depressing me with each tick..
as if to let me know that time is slipping away


and theres not one **** thing I can do to stop it..
if the world should end
right here...
right now...
I would die in this miserable state.


the tears....


inside of me
that I allow no one to see,
to touch,
to comfort,
are slowly driving me insane.


I wear a mask ...


to protect myself from people,
well meaning people,
who try for unknown reasons
to help some poor soul,
like me.


I don't need their attention..


so I smile...
I am almost sure
I have perfected
the fine art
of fake smiling.



no one knows.....
no one sees.....
no one cares.
as I sit here all alone...


in a room full of people.