I want to be an American!

Wrap me in bacon!
Smother me in lard!
Cover me in processed cheese!
Double dip me in a vat of boiling oil!

I want to be an American!

The land is mine!
The world is mine!

I'll use all the resources available!
And then I'll use what's left of yours!
Kneel before my great American feet!

I want to be an American!
And think that I am truly free!

I want to be an American!
And commercialize everything!

Consume!
Consume!
Consume!

Consume!
Consume!
Consum­e!

Consume!
Consume!
Consume!

Now pay me!