*******, dad.
How can you destroy me
Just by speaking?

One two, one two
Each word chosen
specifically to rack up
the most damage.
To leave me winded
after every conversation.

Despite the language barrier,
you still manage to use me
as your punching bag.
Verbal assaults leaving bruises
into my confidence as easily
as you roll your R's.

One two, one two
You have beaten into me
That I am not enough for you
Or for anybody
One too many times.

But I still love you -
Through and through.
-
*******, David.
What happened to having
my back?

You know how spineless
I can be. I
am a mess around Daddy
Dearest. And I know
that he loves me
Dearly.
But clearly, we don't see
Eye to eye.

Your advantage in height
does not give you the right
to look down on me.

I know you try
to understand me,
but sometimes I know you
Won't.  
And sometimes, you just
Don't.
Refusing to meet me half way
or being unable to do so..
I cannot seem to choose
which of the two are worse.

You're my baby brother,
**** used to be so different.
Mom and dad used to be together
And siempre meant forever
But life is not like that,
No, not really. Never.
We tethered moments to
Permanence.  
And look where that left us.

We laugh
and we fight.
At opposite ends only
to return to each other's side.
-
*******, Blake and Q-tip.
What is this friendship, am I
supposed to hate y'all?

Y'all drink
And I'm intoxicated.
Y'all smoke
And I get light headed.
Y'all breathe
And I'd gasp along with y'all.

We were inseparable.
Like magnets.
Except now we're just
Far too opposite to
Even attract anymore.

I tried to leave
before y'all left me,
but I still felt abandoned
and I feel like I was
never part of something
so close knit.
I was a loose string
on the woven tapestry
that y'all've made
without me.

And so I wonder if I
ever belonged in the first place.
or did I just follow behind
refusing to see the shadows
where there wasn't sun.

I'd still pick up the phone and
Talk like I'm still worth y'alls time.
-
The worst thing about
Having a fragile heart is
The ability to break your
Own
With just as much abuse
And neglect
And selfishness that everyone
Else had.

Sometimes, you break
Your own heart
Much worse
Than anybody else could.

And it would mend
Itself together
just to be
Broken again.