My apologetic bones creak as I step
From today to tomorrow, again and again.
I wish they would quiet down,
For fear of the world hearing the symphony
Of my old soul exhaustion.
This life, relentless like the sea,
Like the endless cacophony of water that
Carves white sand beaches from
The mountains of Santa Barbara.
Out of the ocean I rise to drown.
Love, love lost, love holding your hand
To chase lightning from the sky back
into the night: the night where
College students get drunk and fuck each other’s brains out
When all I want to do is sleep.
With a tearing, retching, wretched sound,
My soul keeps leaping from my open mouth
In pieces. No peace, as the rest of me
Takes leave from sanity, reality, shit shit shit.
I have nowhere to go.
I came to seek the Great Perhaps,
But I’ve found only a Great Collapse.