What will you do when you read this?

Will you pretend you didnt see it and feign indifference ,
Preferring to get lost in other people's lives
rather than
Looking back at the past 8 months of ours ?

Or maybe you'll take the time to commemorate every letter ,
Cherish the spaces in between each word and remember how our love felt
Real , so real and sound until it slowly waned before our eyes and
Each space half way through these string of emotions have never felt so far so distant so cold.

I'd like to think that you'd do the latter. It would give me comfort to picture you taking in the things I couldnt say , written down. That you would finally hear the thrums of my heart .these are the words it echoes. I couldn't reach you but I hope these words do ;

I talked about the end like it could come anytime , because it could. Calamity never gave warning when it would strike. I wanted you to be ready. I wanted  to secure your heart , shield it from devastation and harrow when it does happen ,When we reach our peak and dwindle to embers.

When this time comes i want
I want you to remember august , I said we just had to get by and we did.
Remember bookstores , "our sanctuary" you said amongst the pages of stories we wish we could live in ,surrounded by the happily ever afters that seem so unattainable.
Remember walks in crowded streets , hands intertwined , so you won't lose me in the tide of people.
And silent phone calls , no words were said but we didnt need them anyway.

I want you to remember the good and i know it might be painful but I hope that every step away from me takes you closer to happiness because I wish I could have given you more , I should have given you more. More kisses , more time . I should have given you everything but I could not.

And remember the last time I told you i loved you , the words caught up in my throat because it would mean this is the end . I couldnt give you everything but you have my last 'I love you'. It belongs to you.