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Feb 2012
My insides have the best of me, the empty can be so heavy.
The beginning starts and leads, from and to nothing.
Anchors on my chest, and I can't feel my heart.
Nothing is around me, yet nothing is where it starts.

Vision alone won't make me see, what's lying in front of me.
Thoughts alone won't help me believe, what could and should come to be.
I burn questions in my head, like cigarrettes on my hand.
What is it that I fear? Middle of the ocean with no signs of land.

Pull me through the clouds, I wanna see how rain is made.
Then drop me back to earth, I wanna feel this endless rain.
But that isn't what I feel, retreat back to nothing.
When my pride is hurt and I feel that certain something.

I hate the way I am, leave before you're left.
Read the first page, then never read the rest.
Over think your thoughts, ignore any feelings.
Avoid pain at all costs, no such thing as healing.

All the drugs in the world couldn't **** who I am.
And nothing could stop my pretending to not give a ****.
I'll admit my fears rule me, they have me by the throat.
But one day i'll snare them, send the pain below.

I don't keep faith in the idea, now or never.
But times my worst enemy, I know the sooner the better.
The wind waves the oceans, and nothing makes the winds.
So without question we all feel nothing, and nothing is my friend.

This is where it begins and that is where it ends.
This is where it comes and that is where it sends.
It's true I can be heartless, when I can't find my heart.
It's hard to constantly travel, when it wanders off so far.
And I can be so selfish, when I don't know my self.
But change never changes, so this me can go to hell.

We all die more than once in a lifetime.
Blow away my image, it's in the palm of your hands.
Must there be an ending to this timeline?
Wolves will be vicious, when defending their lands.

I build walls of steel, when I begin to feel vulnerable.
So I can be independent, it's anything but honorable.
"It's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all."
Life doesn't run by a coin toss, can't just sit back and watch it fall.

It's ironic how silence, on the contrary, is the loudest thing in the world.
And how a tough facade, can shield such a weak, and tired insecure little girl.
Al M Rakun
Written by
Al M Rakun
822
   Samantha
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