We all learned to make mistakes
But simultaneously hide from them
Block out learning opportunities with pride
Because we've idolized perfection
The plan was to grow
But instead we've engorged ourselves with
False bravado
I blame it on the pain
I mean how else do we cope
With so many hands on our throats
I CANT BREATHE
So introverted
to much energy drains me
How could you blame me
In a time where everything is so fast pace
Rapid
I had to wrap it at 14
Senior thought it was cute to ride me
I mean rob me of childish glow
I swear i didn't know how to say no
She said "This what I called u for
Don't make noise my father won't be to fond of you.
Just let it happen"
Toxic Masculinity told me I was the man
Couldn't understand my feelings until now
I'll never get it back
She took advantage
Probably why I desire control so much
We learn from our mistakes if we don't lock them away
But that little box in my mind been shaking for some time
Like it's something whil'in in it
Tasmanian memories
Tornados in my psyche
Don't give up
Cause there was a time when suicide
Would excite me
Thank God we couldnt afford prescription
I gotta learn from everything
Even ignorant experience
Like the time I said "******* ain't **** and I don't like black women" please forgive me I was going through some internalized ****
I work on loving myself everyday
Cause internalized hate will breed a monster
I called the suicide hotline twice last week
I swear I'm doing better I just needed to talk and I knew they would actually listen when I speak.

I had to write because the world told me I was too emotional
Wasn't strong enough
Close friends call me soft because I like to See the good in stuff
If we just let people be themselves, would that be to much?
We all makes mistakes
Why are we so scared to learn?
Pain is a shame
but
a reward you earn
My mental high way is always croweded from all the bridges I burned
I was just Tryna learn to stand on my own
Build my own thrown I didn't know telling people I didn't need them
Would make them throw shade at your shine
Rain on you cabana
I knew from how lonely our Christmas tree
Was
It wasn't no Santa....


My parents try to teach me to learn from their mistakes
But vicarious learning was never great
My hard head is what most hate
Listen if I could tell you anything in my short time on this earth
It's
Make mistakes and learn from them
That's how life works