Ode to My Hero (Me) to be sung by Donald Trump with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan's H.M.S Pinafore
As a callow youth I served a term as Senior VP of my Daddy's firm His moxie and his money so suited me that now I am the ruler of the Trump fam'ly
When asked a question, my Golden Rule is to bluster loud and flaunt my cool, And this evasion so well suits me that I've become the master of chicanery.
With legal suits, I've made so free that all my smitten lenders bow down to me For I pay my lawyers so liberally that I never lose a dollar on a bankruptcy.
If now and then my luck runs out I've buckets of money from my TV route, And since my ******* up name is Gold the money keeps a 'comin from the young and old.
For my great fame they pay and pay and their paltry savings they fling away on Trump U studies they're sure to find, will empty their wallets, not fill their mind.
So listen and learn from my Trumpery and join white men who hate Hillary They holler hosannas for their hero DonT, though for Trump adulation they can't beat me!
My heads not troubled by policy woes 'cause I learn all I want at beauty shows I've put up very well with my three wives, my yachts & my mansions & my gambling dives.
I've exalted myself unsparingly and tossed off little lies with impunity Let fey foes fault me as vain & mean, their rightful envy leaves me quite serene.
With my big mouth and red regal head I've clobbered all my rivals until they bled With frank contempt I dissed Jeb B bashed Carson & Kasich and Ted's lady.
There's hardly a Republican left to fight and, in wimpy Dems, I inspire fright while fearful folks seek my mighty arm to shield them all from ISIS harm.
Now I've come to the end of this very fine Ode to march with pride on the Presidential Road For my boundless bluster's so elevated me that now I am the ruler of the GOP.
If another Trump you aspire to be, you must never, never fret about decency. Just stiff the losers and brag like me, and you may be the Grand Old Party's nominee.