“i’ve got the one on the right­—
you can have the one on the left.”
of course the one on the left is the size of two of me
when a wing man’s duty calls, one must oblige

“you’re cute” she tells me
“you gross me out” i say to myself
however, she is nice
and had what could be a pretty face
so we drank beers and smoked cigarettes out on the balcony
i do not remember what we talked about
she works with kids I think, but to be honest
i didn’t care

i wonder where my friend is
he better be getting some or at the very least,
making conversation
i don’t just go around jumping on grenades for
***** and giggles

finally, it is time to go
i ask the girl for her number, because i knew it would make her happy
“you better text me” she says
“of course i will”

i won’t

my friend surfaces­
unsuccessfully
i give him ****

he gives me the purple heart