"You are worth nothing."
Chirping along loudly, painfully loudly,
Laughing and giggling almost hysterically,
Hoping and praying no one can see me.

"You don't deserve anything."
Images of exploding feathers floating by,
Sawed-off shotguns bucking with a war-like cry,
Hiding so obviously anyone can see me try.

"You must be punished."
Chocolate and sugar seems to work best,
The weight in my stomach replacing the one in my chest,
My heart mercifully numb until it joins all the rest.

"You could never be loved."
No longer chirpy except in my head,
Two voices battling - one black and one red,
Losing myself in ways that I always dread.

I hate living like this,
Falling into my endless abyss,
Gorging myself on a sickening bliss.

I pretend that no one will look,
Even though my face is an open book,
And I feel like a worthless crook.

I allow myself to dream and hope,
Knowing that I will never be able to cope,
I'd have better chances ******* the Pope.

I try pretend not to hear these things,
Still aware they're destroying my wings,
While in my head it grates and it rings.

Could I sew up my ears?
Could I tear up my fears?
Would I want to since it's me
And I could never be free?

It always whispers, as a final parting gift
*****
And with closed eyes I am finally set adrift.