inserting the curved blade
right next to the *******
of a downed doe
he made a smooth and easy slit
right to the base of the chest plate
the entire gut pile slid near into his lap /

surely my skin matched the grey eyes of death
as I watched him snip
a long green ******
from a steaming red liver…
the heart was next pulled and gently placed
into a hat holding a giant liver
his eyes twinkled with pride
as he looked up at me /

my first **** was a good one
317 yards
set the crosshairs
right at the backbone
bottom edge of the neck
223 bullet hit the front shoulder
and rolled into the armpit
sent bone fragments shooting
through the lungs and heart…..
I was a murderer /

the hollow carcass matched my heart
as I shouldered the load
and trudged back the 1.2 miles to camp
only stopping twice to re-adjust my doom
the smell of blood
the weight of killing
and a fat alfalfa fed doe
led me to a difficult conclusion /

at 15 I had spent 8 years tagging along to ever trap line
each fishing trip not during class hours
multiple poaching’s
and now my first legitimate ****, solo…
my head spun /

wrapping the body in a mesh bag
and hanging it in a Juniper
I looked up at my shame
and over into my father’s eyes…

it was the last time I killed…
outside of the occasional mosquito
or spider … /