Pain knows my smile

Every single crooked smile that shows people how perfect I supposedly am when deep down I'm more broken then you could ever imagine

I crack that smile in public
But when I'm all alone my tears fill those crooked cracks
And the space in-between me and you

I dig into the core of my well being and show you how broken I really am but you seem like you don't even care

You don't even care that I cry myself to sleep at night and skip school just so I can get a chance to think about how I can fix all the things I've broken

Like me
All I want to do is fix me

To fix me would be the stroke of luck I need to be able to fix everything else I've destroyed, but all to be destroyed again because that's just how my life works

A treacherous cycle of pain and hurt and agony and as soon as I think I got rid of it it blindsides me and hits me harder than I ever though possible

All I asked of you is to comfort me but you just turned around and stabbed me in the back with the very knife I use to cut myself when no one is looking

It's all fine, though
I chose to accept it and the fact that I have to deal with enough pain for the both of us by myself