IV
i face myself as i look into the mirror of ice,
produced by your cold breath freezing my tears.

i can't breathe myself, but at least frozen water
is easier to walk on than blood boiling with passion.

you tell me, that i can't keep balancing on
the shaky concrete you provide me -

that i will drown taking my next step
and you won't keep me over water.

I was never yours to save.




V
i turn my back at you,
though i can't make myself walk.

I'm stuck.




X
i look into his eyes,
and i see everything you weren't.

i don't know if i think he's better
but he's at least better for me,

than the memory of who you used to be.

I try. I do. I really do.





XII
he kisses me,
and you're nothing but a distant voice,

screamingly telling me to watch out,
so i won't drown in another guy's lies.

(but the voice is shaky,
because it knows, it has no right.)

i ignore you.
I try, I really do.




**
I forgot you years ago.
That's what I'd like to think, at least.