In the room
where
we became
one

I give you
up
and
let you
down

6 years
old
this
love of (y)ours

again.
IknowImsorry. again.
and I don’t know
if you
can carry us anymore

I push it all down
until it rises and bursts
untold history of bitter pain
it all rises up again

I hid your toothbrush in the cupboard
Its sight startled me
wrenching me useless and weak

(I’ve only been drinking water unable to eat)

I need to hold back
I know

Let the pain play its course

Even if I wanted I couldn’t go back to you

You’re too headstrong
You’ve always been
Never understanding my
idiosyncrasy