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Feb 2012
Im everything im not. Im everything you see. Ive become someone i told myself, id probably never be. ive become conflicted inside, by who i was and who is me. You have me questioning everything i am. And everything i can be. I always held myself back. Never giving more then it took. Making things simply work, even when thats not how it looked. I always hid behind a mask, and played them for the fool. Always careful about what id say, always keeping my cool. I never gave more then i need to, and it always came at a price. I always waited for them to make the move, i never rolled the dice. I never took a chance, or let it all hang out. Everything i did was calculated, never showing any doubt. This is how it was, and how i wanted it to be. It kept me from getting hurt, it kept me from really seeing!! So i kept up this game, and never let them win. Never let them get the upper hand, and thats how its always been. Because i never wanted to have, my heart ripped in two. So i never let anyone know, what i really felt was true. I never told them how i felt, or anything inside. I never let them understand, and always told the lie. Because pain is worse then guilt, and its something i could bare. So i put up with it my whole life, and always played the game scared. And scared is how i feel, now that im with you. but Im someone completely different, you've made me into someone new. I dont want to play those games, and im done being scared. Im done hiding behind those masks, im done not showing i care. You've done this to me. Made me a better man. Brought everything i knew i could be, out in the open. You make me want to love, like there is no one else. YOu make me want to speak, when my voice has escaped itself. YOu make me want to sing, when my voice has no tune. You make the impossible possible, like snow in the month of june. You make my mornings full of hope, and give my nights reasons for dreams. YOu make my worries go away, and make my insecurities nothing it seems. THe new me is sick of being scared, and sick of the old me. and the new me wants to say those 3 little words, instead of 143. But i hold my tongue and bit my lip, always afraid, that ill let it slip. holding it back, waiting for the day, i can finally tell you what my heart has always wanted to say. like how ill always be there for you, and never make you cry. Ill be your everything, ill be you stars in the night sky. Ill be your remedy, when nothing else feels right. Ill rock you to sleep, when the sun turns to night. Ill show you love, when the world shows none, ill be your everything, when you feel like there is no one. I want to show you, the love you should be shown. I want to give you, the love you've never know. The kind that you dream about, and pray to god you find. The kind you see in movies, the kind of love thats blind. But i shut my mouth, and say even less. Afraid to move to fast, and making things a mess. So instead ill tell you ur amazing, and how i miss you so. Hoping to see you soon, and see your beautiful glow. And you'll say sweet dreams, and ill answer 'of you,' and know that when i close my eyes, what i said was true. And pray that in the morning, you get my 143. And maybe silently hope to myself, that you send one back to me!
Daniel Regan
Written by
Daniel Regan  Lake in the Hills
(Lake in the Hills)   
592
 
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